Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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