OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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