don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Randomize
