NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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