I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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