Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
