Where did you get a picture of my penis
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Randomize
