Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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