I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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