I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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