"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
