I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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