what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
