Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
