D3 body, D1 cock
1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Randomize
