ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
