this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
