I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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