you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Randomize
