I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Randomize
