I just made out with a guy for $7.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
