You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
