You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Randomize
