Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
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