Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Randomize
