Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I need to calm my uterus...
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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