and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize