I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
