i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
