i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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