May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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