i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize