Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
