I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
