it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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