Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
