Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
