i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
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