I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
