This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
