super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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