Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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