I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
i out mim tonsoeep
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
