he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
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