i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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