part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
