speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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