I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
