on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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