she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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