Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize
