If i come over, it means nothing
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Randomize
