It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Boobs are out for the taking
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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