tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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