Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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