She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
