you would pick up someone in the library
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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