can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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