don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
