so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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