sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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