Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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